/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft? Code
/*Project: NT5(tm)*/
Project: Win2000(tm)
Projected release-date: Summer 19100
Original version date : Aug 1984
*/
#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "winNT.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}
By Michel Debré in the French parliament in 1958 when he spoke in favour of the return of de Gaulle:
Nous sommes au bord du gouffre, il faut faire un pas en avant !!
or (approximately) in a proper language:-
We are on the brink of the abyss, we must take a step forward.
Tourists in Alaska are advised to wear tiny
bells on their clothing when hiking in bear
country. The bells warn away most bears.
Tourists are also cautioned to watch the
ground along the trail, paying particular
attention to bear drippings, in order to be
forewarned of the presence of grizzly bears.
One can identify a grizzly dropping because
it has tiny bells in it.
At age 4 ... success is ... not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 ... success is ... having friends.
At age 15 ... success is ... having a driver's license.
At age 20 ... success is ... having sex.At age 35 ... success is ... having money.
At age 50 ... success is ... having money.
At age 60 ... success is ... having sex.
At age 70 ... success is ... having a driver's license.
At age 75 ... success is ... having friends.
At age 80 ... success is ... not peeing in your pants.